Do you yearn for FREEDOM to be yourself unapologetically? 

If so, I invite you to The Reveal where for a few intense hours (over three days) you’ll be practising doing precisely that.

It’s a three day experience (on zoom) starting this Sunday 14 November at 6 PM United Kingdom time. The other two days are Tues 16 and Weds 17 Nov all starting the same time. See below for further details about signing up.

Also make sure you check out my Instagram where I post new content relevant to The Reveal daily.

WHAT THE REVEAL IS AND IS NOT

The Reveal is not about me or others holding space FOR you.

It is also not a space where safety is created FOR you.

The Reveal is simply a TIME to FREELY practice being responsible for and owning your personal experience of walking your edge and feeling your own discomfort. 

One of the core ideas of The Reveal experience is for you to be your own space holder, your own safety provider and to actively and willingly meet your edge in every moment during your time in The Reveal.

And by “edge” I mean at the very least a state of being ill at ease, uncomfortable, outside your comfort zone. The more discomfort you can bring yourself to feel during the three days of The Reveal the more powerful the medicine of the experience will be for you.

The other core idea is that your experience is solely your responsibility. In other words, you are not to rely on me or others in the group to make anything happen for you.

My only role is to hold time for you but within that time you are responsible for holding space for yourself.

I will be providing further guidance on how to do that – should you feel in need of such guidance – closer to the time.

The Reveal is also a time to discard any crutches that are mere props. For example there won’t be an opening or closing ceremony/ritual/honouring of our time together.

My intention for The Reveal is for you to meet your edges, your discomforts so completely and nakedly in each moment without anyone else’s externally imposed signifiers and meanings.

If, however, you desire to mark your time on The Reveal in a way that is personally meaningful to you, you can of course do it for yourself before and after The Reveal (or during, within your timeslot, if that would be an uncomfortable edge for you).

WHO THE REVEAL IS FOR

This experience will benefit anyone who is very uncomfortable speaking, doing and/or being certain way IN FRONT OF OTHER PEOPLE, both facing a group and just one other person.   

The more this prospect terrifies you the more I encourage you to come to The Reveal because this experience will allow you to do that thing that scares you without having to find out how you are received by others (there is no giving feedback during The Reveal).

Sure you’ll be able to see their facial expressions and body language – and yes you’ll be interpreting it I have no doubt – but you won’t know for sure, you won’t have to directly experience their feedback.

This fear of how well we are received by others is a fear of rejection and as such is at the heart of why we hide our truth, why we keep ourselves small, why we don’t feel free to be that which makes us feel most alive.

Having said all that, you might be feeling particularly brave by the time we get to Weds (the third and the last day of The Reveal) and you may want to find out how you’re being received. So, on Weds you can ask the person you’ll be paired with to tell you that. BUT. Be prepared that they may say “NO” to your request.

THE REVEAL SPECIFICS

I will hold two rounds of the same experience. The first round will be held on 7, 9 and 10 November and the second on 14, 16 and 17 November.

You can come to both but bear in mind places are limited (places will go to those who come first). On all of these dates we’ll start at 6 pm UK, London time

PLEASE ACCOUNT FOR CLOCKS CHANGING IN THE U.S.

On these dates we’ll come together on a zoom a call. The call will likely last between one and two hours.

INTEGRATION SUNDAY (OPTIONAL)

On 21 November, 6 PM (UK time) I will hold a zoom call for anyone who would like to share their experience with the group as part of their integration process.

THE PRICE

The price is per round i.e. three days (Sun, Tues & Weds) and it is £66 (GBP). And if you want to come to the Integration Sunday that will be additional payment of £22 (GBP).

PayPal is the only way to make the payment (unless you are in the UK in which case bank transfer is ok too, just let me know).

Please make sure you select GBP in the PayPal currency dropdown menu in the RECIPIENT GETS column and then type 66. Otherwise, I will not receive the correct amount.

THE THREE DAYS & THEIR RULES OF ENGAGEMENT

When I say DAY I mean one of the three Zoom calls we’ll have over three days.

THE DON’TS

The following will not be acceptable to do during The Reveal. 

One: violence.

Whether this is physically harmful violence done to yourself or verbal violence aimed at another person in the group (shouting, names calling etc).

Two: interfering with someone else’s experience.

No comments in the chat to “everyone”. You can message me directly if you have to but please don’t message others. Also, no feedback to each other e.g. no spontaneous expressions of support or advice. Resisting these habitual impulses will be part of The Reveal experience of feeling your discomforts. And it’s also about not interrupting the experience of others.

Three: any issues you may have with me.

For example, maybe your edge would be to pay for an experience and then tell the facilitator that you don’t like them or they are doing a bad job (this would certainly be my edge). The reason I am not open to receiving this during The Reveal is that I cannot effectively be both, the facilitator and the participant who is fully present in my experience of receiving that feedback. I am however open to it in a different context and set up, so if that’s your edge, reach out to me in December and we’ll talk.

THE DOS

DAY ONE: SUNDAY

This is the only day when I will be conducting your experience but I may not know till the last moment what I’ll be doing.

And it’s also why this may be the least challenging day – unless what I end up doing happens to be activating your fears and discomforts. 

There will also be time to ask any questions. 

DAY TWO: TUESDAY

On day two, you will each have 10 mins to speak, show, be, do whatever that thing that terrifies you is, in front of the group.

When your turn comes, you will remain in the hot seat for your 10 mins even if you are done with whatever you were doing; but also when your 10 mins are up – there will be alarm sound that will mark that moment – you are to stop what you’re doing even if it’s mid sentence.

What you bring to and how you choose to spend those 10 mins is completely up to you – see my suggestions below. You are free to narrate, describe i.e. share with others what that experience of your discomfort is like for you as you are having it.

SOME SUGGESTIONS FOR WHAT TO BRING

Your secrets, confessions – what if you only had few months to live, what do you need to say to die in peace?, silence – being silent for 10 mins, being naked – full body or just without makeup, your grief, your uncensored joy, not smiling (or smiling), shocking controversial opinions, breaking free – what do you need to say/do/be that will set you free?, expressions of anger (at no one in the group though) screaming for 10 mins, eating a meal while everyone’s watching you, dancing, singing, reading your poetry, making art while everyone’s looking at you, showing your art, farting, burping, crying, asking for what you need in life or just in the moment while not expecting anyone to give it to you during The Reveal, admitting your darkest desires, showing the “ugly” side of you (whatever that is to you), or anything else that scares you to say/do/be in front of others.  

ALSO, YOU CAN REVEAL YOUR MULTIPLE EDGES WITHIN YOUR 10 MINS SLOT. Whatever you need to do to stay and/or fall off that edge.

DAY THREE: WEDNESDAY

This is the most challenging day.

This time you will be paired up with another person from the group in the breakout rooms.

You each will have at least 15 mins to express your impressions of the other person (option 1) – this needs to be something that will make you feel intensely uncomfortable to share with them (e.g. any judgement or dislike you may feel about them, a desire you may feel towards them etc) Basically whatever you may have experienced while witnessing them during the first two days. Or it could be something you’re experiencing in the very moment you are faced with them 1:1 for the first time on day three. 

An alternative, option 2, is to reveal some more personal truth about yourself to the other person. Similar to day two just this time with one person as your audience. The idea though, as always, is to do/be/say the most uncomfortable thing for you.

Also, during your time together in the breakout room (30 mins in total) you don’t have to choose the same option. e.g. the person who wants option 1 will use their 15 mins to do that, and if the other person wants to do option 2 they will use their 15 mins to do it.

My only request when choosing your option is: choose the option that scares you more.

There are two critical rules for both of you to adhere to if you choose OPTION 1.

One is that the person receiving challenging feedback will invite it first.

The wording needs to be your own along the lines of “I am open to witnessing your reflection of myself, please feel free to share whatever it is” This is purely about consent and not about reassurance. So please make make sure you are not reassuring the other person. Further guidance will be provided closer to day three.

The other critical rule is that the person giving challenging feedback speaks from their personal experience, their own filters and perspective. Some examples of how to word this are:

I felt such indignation when you _______  because it makes me feel wrong and small. 

Looking at you right now makes me feel jealous.

Being with you in this moment makes me feel very awkward. Your energy feels to me judgemental, harsh, aggressive, fearful.

You hopefully get the idea. And if not I will clarify any uncertainty you may have on day one.

ALSO, FURTHER GUIDANCE WILL BE PROVIDED CLOSER TO THE TIME.

SO, ARE YOU READY TO REVEAL YOURSELF?

The DEADLINE for signing up for the Second Round of The Reveal is before 7 AM UK time on 13th of November.

By making a PayPal payment (£66) using the email herdarkermaterials at gmail dot com you have secured your place on the first round of The Reveal.

Also please note that I will be sending the zoom link to the email you Pay Pal me with, so if you want me to communicate with you via a different email, tell me so in the Pay Pal message.

By making a payment, you have also confirmed that you have understood what your role and responsibilities are during The Reveal and that you accept its Rules Of Engagement as described above.

And last but not least by signing up you are committing to showing up on all three days so please make sure you are free and available on those dates.